Church Wounds: When the Place Meant to Heal Becomes a Source of Hurt

I grew up in two very different worlds. One was a world of horror—Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) that inflicted unspeakable trauma, torture, and evil on my life as a child. The other was the church. It was supposed to be a place of refuge, safety, and healing. But it wasn’t. Instead, it became another source of confusion, betrayal, and pain.

When I told my Sunday school teachers about the abuse I was enduring, I was called a liar. Instead of

protecting me, they told my father. That betrayal solidified my belief: church wasn’t safe. God, especially a "Heavenly Father," felt unreachable. How could I trust a Father I couldn’t see when every man I had known brought pain?

By 15, I was running away from home just to survive. The streets offered broken relationships, but at least they were honest about their brokenness. At 19, I found myself in jail—a consequence of years of pain without direction. But even in that cold, dark place, God began to whisper to my shattered heart.

I longed for healing and kept searching for a church home. But each experience left new wounds. One pastor fell into moral failure and somehow blamed me. Another was arrested for embezzlement. Eventually, I thought I found a healthy church—until a pastor accused me of having a Jezebel spirit. Though he may have sensed the spiritual residue from my past abuse, instead of approaching me with compassion, love and deliverance,

he shamed and rejected me publicly. People pulled away. I almost gave up on God.

Then God sent me someone different— a Prophetess.. Through a friend who would later become my husband, I was introduced to her ministry. He knew I needed someone safe. The Prophetess flew out to see me. In just one hour, she told me things no human could know. She spoke with the heart of God and poured out something I had never experienced before: Godly Compassion.

That encounter was a turning point.

Godly Compassion: The Superpower of Heaven

Matthew 9:36 says, “When Jesus saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

Jesus sees us. He doesn’t just see our behavior; He sees our wounds. And He moves toward us in compassion, not judgment.

Church wounds are real. Many are walking around spiritually homeless because they were shamed, silenced, or misunderstood by the very people meant to shepherd them. Like Paul said in Ephesians 6:12, our battle isn’t against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil. Much of the pain we carry stems from demonic attacks, not human intention—but when leaders lack discernment and compassion, they can become conduits of pain instead of healing.

Godly compassion changed my life. It wasn’t soft or enabling—it was powerful. It saw through my defenses. It recognized the demonic strongholds without condemning me. It offered love with

boundaries, grace with truth, and healing without shame.

What Godly Compassion Looks Like:

* It sees beyond behavior to the root cause

* It draws near when others back away

* It loves through the walls people put up

* It calls you higher without condemning where you are

* It mirrors Christ’s own heart for the broken

Jesus didn’t walk around pointing fingers. He walked with the wounded and invited them into freedom.

Healing Is Possible

Godly compassion is now a core value in our ministry. It is how we live and serve. Christ endured the most extreme abuse—physical, emotional, and spiritual—yet when He rose from the grave, He carried no trauma. No PTSD. He was completely healed. That same healing is available to you and me.

You don’t have to carry church wounds forever.

You don’t have to stay hurt by human failure.

You don’t have to be defined by past rejection.

Healing is possible. Jesus is still sending people like the prophetess. People who will see you with the eyes of God, love you in your pain, and walk with you to freedom.

If you’ve been wounded by the church, I am so sorry. But please don’t give up. Let God show you what His love really looks like. And when He sends someone to pour out that healing compassion, be willing to receive it.

There is hope. There is healing. There is Jesus.

~ Pastor CJ

🔥 Prayer for Healing Church Wounds and Restoring Intimacy with the Father of Love

Heavenly Father, Righteous Judge of all creation,

I come before Your throne of grace, covered in the blood of Jesus Christ, my Redeemer and Advocate. I enter the Courts of Heaven today not with excuses but with humility, repentance, and a deep desire to be made whole.

Father, I confess that I have carried the pain of church wounds. I acknowledge the offense, rejection, betrayal, spiritual abuse, and even manipulation I’ve experienced at the hands of those who claimed Your name. I bring it all before You now—not to accuse, but to release.

Forgive me, Lord, for the ways I allowed bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, and even offense toward You to grow in my heart. I repent for every agreement I’ve made with lies—that You abandoned me, that You approved of what was done, or that You were distant in my suffering.

I renounce every accusation I have held against You, Father of Love. You are good. You are holy. You are faithful. I reject and rebuke every spirit of offense, bitterness, rejection, betrayal, abandonment, and religious control that I allowed to attach to my soul. You are not the author of confusion or pain. You are the Healer of broken hearts.

I forgive every person who hurt me in Your name— every pastor, leader, teacher, or church member who acted from pride, fear, ignorance, or control. I release them into Your hands. I choose to forgive them completely, as You have forgiven me.

I ask You now to forgive me, Lord, for holding onto these wounds longer than I should have. Forgive me for giving the enemy legal access to torment me through unhealed pain. I cancel every legal right the enemy has used to keep me in bondage because of these open doors. Let the blood of Jesus now speak on my behalf in the Courts of Heaven—speaking mercy, speaking forgiveness, speaking redemption.

I rebuke and renounce every unclean spirit that has entered through these wounds:

• Spirits of offense, religious trauma, accusation, spiritual manipulation, bitterness, rejection, fear, shame, condemnation, abandonment, isolation, and deception.

I bind them in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and I command them to go now—leave me and never return!

By the fire of the Holy Spirit, I declare every demonic altar raised through these wounds is now destroyed. I pull down every stronghold in my mind that has exalted itself above the knowledge of Christ. I take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

Holy Spirit, come and fill every area where pain once lived. Wash me in the water of the Word. Restore intimacy with my Abba Father. Rebuild the broken trust. Reignite the love that religion tried to destroy. Draw me near, even in my scars.

Father, I receive Your compassion. Teach me what godly compassion looks like. Let it pour into me and through me, that I may love others as You love me.

I declare today:

• My identity is rooted in Your love—not in what was done to me.

• My wounds are not my identity—Your healing is.

• I am not disqualified—I am restored, called, and chosen.

• The pain will no longer lead me—Your Spirit will.

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Seal this work, Holy Spirit. Let no backlash come. I place the cross of Christ between me and every retaliating spirit. I cover myself, my family, my mind, and my heart with the blood of Jesus.

In the mighty, matchless name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I pray and declare:

It is finished. I am free. I am whole. And I am loved.

Amen.